Sunday, May 15, 2011

Chaos in the Sanctuary

I told myself I wasn't going to do this but it is far too funny to let it pass.

Our two oldest daughters had the pleasure of spending Saturday night with the Worley family. The Worley's have five children ages two through eleven, four girls and that sweet little two year old boy. 

When me and the youngest two arrived at church this morning, I sat in our usually pew, (Mikie was at drill), and the kids went a pew back to sit with part of the Linsley family.

The choir made its way through the hall as the Worley crew, plus my two and another young lady shuffled into the pew behind, in front of and beside me. We joked about them beating the choir into their seats. 

The worship part of the service was fairly calm, other than sweet J turning her pocket inside out to drop her change in the offering plate. Then deciding that she only wanted to give a dime. I can't tell you who the deacon was at the end of the pew waiting on the offering plate because I was laughing so hard. 

As Pastor Bob started into his sermon, I hear this sound, singing, talking, maybe a cell phone, I couldn't tell. I notice my youngest was under the pew and the four kids sitting on the pew where she was supposed to be were giggling. While everyone around was checking their cell phones, I'm snapping my fingers to get her attention. Her stuffed animal that she swore was broken and didn't make a sound had suddenly revived itself with some French love song. Once it was passed to me I realized the switch had been broken off and had to make a not so discrete exit to the hallway to leave the animal. 

Back in the sanctuary that sweet little two year boy of theirs got upset and very loudly informed his mom that his dad had told him not to talk. Dr. C. got up to take him to the nursery and my pew of girls and I thought they were going to meet the floor. We still aren't sure what happened but there was a pretty good lunge and sudden straightening.

Michael asked to go to the potty so I let him go alone. In a minute J (same age as Michael and possibly a little too flirty together), needs to blow her nose. So K let her go out to the restroom. Six minutes later Michael and J return with grins on their faces. I asked if they had been in the bathroom together, which I was told no, that she had waited on him in the hallway.

After service Dr. C told me he only needed little C potty trained not J, (Michael has helped potty train 3 little boys in the last year. Were thinking about starting a potty training business.) 

Pastor Bob does an awesome job at ignoring the chaos on the first three pews, and so far hasn't asked any of us to move to the back.  

And in the words of the oldest Linsley child, "when your family, my family and the Worley's are together, the best you can hope for is a scene."

1. I used initials for the other families because I didn't ask permission to pick on their kids. 
2. It probably isn't as funny as it was if you were there! 
3. Mollie found her singing dog on the table in the hallway. I didn't throw it in the middle of the road like someone had figured I did. 

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